Jason's Funeral Remarks for Mum

I want to express thanks for the love, messages, service, flowers, attendance. Each thing helps fill the void that opened up when mum passed. The Savior makes up the difference through the comforting influence of the Holy Ghost.

I wanted to start out with the words of the prophet Mormon found in Moroni 7:45 which seems to embody everything about mum.

45 And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

So it says charity suffereth long and beareth all things and endureth all things. Where do I even start? There’s Shaun’s loudness, Scott breaking wind, Jared’s jokes, Tania....fullstop. And I’m sure I got on her nerves talking too much. Raising 5 boys and a girl when Dad passed was a trying and refining period of her life. It is said we don’t grow without resistance and we provided plenty but she came out better for it.

The scripture says charity is not easily provoked, and mum was not easily provoked but somehow I managed to do it a few times. There were a few wooden spoons that broke on my bottom. But I know it wasn’t her fault, it was me that was really naughty. Her provoked threshold was way high, but I just seemed to be able to cross it a few times. I didn’t give her a chance to give me any warnings, just boom I’m there. My tenderest memories are of her coming into my room later after I had been disciplined and sitting on the bed next to me, giving me hugs and kisses and saying she loves me. I admit I used to have a short temper, but I don’t anymore. But I still have buns of steel though.

Charity is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own. Mum made these traits a part of her while raising us and serving the Lord in various capacities. She was very simple, humble, always thinking about others and always had kind words for everyone.

Her last calling was Relief Society president for the branch in the Bennion Care center. It's a center that looks after old folks that can’t look after themselves, which is just down the road from the cemetery she will be buried at. She knew all the names of the residents in the branch and enjoyed talking to them and helped them feel loved. She made sure they had anything that made them feel joy even if it was a few stationary supplies so they can write, draw or color. They loved her for it.

She loved her children and grandchildren and was proud of them but never boasted, unless she was talking about my good looks, but I can’t blame her for that. My wife does it all the time. She has 6 kids, 30 grandkids and 2 great-grand kids but always had a birthday card and gift for each one and christmas gifts for each one. She attended recitals, plays, graduations, sports games, etc and made each one feel special and accepted each one as they are.

She never had a bad thing to say about anyone. If we were talking about someone, like, “Hey mum did you hear what Shaun did? What is he thinking?” Just kidding, we don’t talk about Shaun behind his back......it’s mostly Jared. Just kidding! But Mum would always defend the person and give them the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes that was frustrating and I’d joke, “Ah Mum you’d defend isis if we were talking bad about them.” She said she wouldn’t.

I have a quote by Elder Marvin J. Ashton (1915–94) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles that perfectly explains what I’m trying to say about the charity Mum has:

“Charity is, perhaps, in many ways a misunderstood word. We often equate charity with visiting the sick, taking in casseroles to those in need, or sharing our excess with those who are less fortunate. But really, true charity is much, much more.
“Real charity is not something you give away; it is something that you acquire and make a part of yourself. And when the virtue of charity becomes implanted in your heart, you are never the same again. It makes the thought of [putting others down] repulsive.
“Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other”

I know Mum expected the best of her children. I had a saying on my mission, “You know you’re doing your best if you’re trying to do better.” Mum we’re trying to do better, we’re trying to be better. I know she could see our potential. I know Heavenly Father sees our full potential and by the grace of the Savior and his atonement we are able to reach it.

I just want to close with the words of Mormon again in Moroni 7:46-47.

46 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—
47 But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.

I know all is well with Mum for she possessed the pure love of Christ. I’m grateful for the example my mother gave to us to be charitable not only in deed but in words and thought. I’m grateful to the Savior who showed the most perfect charity when He gave His life and atoned for each of us. I know because of that it is possible that we can have eternal families and I’ll be able to see Mum and Dad again.

In the name of Jesus Christ amen.